I Cry. A lot.

I cry. A lot. Every day just about. Always in the quiet of my privacy.  As CS Lewis said, "No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear."  There will always be life before ALS and life with ALS.  I'd gladly go back to some of my darkest days before ALS and live in those days forever if it meant my mom never had to know a second of what this wretched disease is like.  I yearn for her always.  Her laugh.  Her fussing.  Her wisdom.  Her voice.  I cry. A lot.