SUCK IT UP

So I totally had one of those moments today.  I was feeling completely overwhelmed this morning. Going over to my mom's 7 days/week for the past few weeks I have lost track of the days and sense of time.  Because of my husband's work schedule I have all three kids in tow with me everyday.  Taking care of my mom is relatively easy - nerve-racking, but easy.  Dealing with three kids going stir-crazy from the monotony is tiresome and not having a grasp on time because there are no days off is mentally draining. After getting home late Thursday night and having to get up this morning to pack I woke up feeling completely drained. I was trying to get ready to go on a small road trip with my mom.   After I finally got them ready I scurried  over to my mom's frantic a bit because I was running late.  I was hoping she wasn't stuck somewhere in her house in need of help.  Fortunately when I arrived she was doing fine. I did though get a sudden feeling of immense pressure - had to transfer our things into my mom's car, get kids in the house, make sure all of my mom's medical equipment was accounted for, make sure my mom had her personal things packed, make sure the kids weren't destroying her house while waiting, etc. 

 At one point I was alone packing the van and I sat down to cry.  Let me be clear - at no time have I ever been upset with my mom, ever.  I just felt like I was about to break - like I didn't have it in me to do so much at once.  Somewhere from deep inside; however, a voice was yelling at me:  SUCK IT UP.  I had to tell myself that a few times.  Thank goodness that voice was loud.  I wiped my eyes, took a deep breath and told myself aloud this time to SUCK IT UP.  I could handle it all and I should.  A few deep breaths later I moved on and with the help of my kids we were on the road.  We made it in good time, too!  It's a tad stressful for my mom here because she's out of her comfort zone as far as safety.  She knows how to move about her own home.  I wish I could just take it all away from her.  I can't imagine having to worry and stress about the things she has to think about.  God bless her.